The Social Truths in Art

          The arts have long—perhaps always—been a platform for expressing often dissenting opinion on social norms of the time. No doubt when the first ancient Greek or Roman sculptor chiseled a statue that did not represent the ideal human body of the time, mainstream society expressed its disapproval by smashing the work to pieces and throwing the offending artist to the lions. Meanwhile, those segments of society who themselves did not represent the ideal form celebrated their martyr and vowed to continue the rebellion in the name of equality and freedom of self-expression.

           Even Jesus, that master storyteller, conveyed his teachings in the form of parables which only those who had “…ears to hear…” could comprehend (Mark 4:9). Medieval and Renaissance paintings often expressed commentary through satire, veiling political and religious statements with color and form and imagery, and sometimes even humor. Many 18^th century nursery rhymes we learned as children are actually criticisms of the royalty and ruling classes. For example, “There was an old woman who lived in a shoe…” refers to England and the way she ruled her colonies (http://englishhistoryauthors.blogspot.com/2012/04/political-meaning-in-18th-century.html). Commonly known works of fiction such as Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Animal Farm, and To Kill a Mockingbird offered social commentary in the form of novels.

           Cinema, too, is a work of art. So it should come as no surprise that people who create cinema—the screenplay writers, the producers and directors, the actors who bring the stories to life—often use their craft as a vehicle for expressing their concern on those issues that are important to them. Civil rights, climate change, equality for women and sexual minorities, domestic violence, the immense social and spiritual costs of war, access to quality healthcare, and other compelling issues of our time are present in the stories told through cinema. Why, then, should people act surprised or even offended when these artists comment on the views expressed in their own creations?

           People who are disturbed or irritated by the social truths expressed in film and other contemporary works of art are usually those who deny the truth. It makes them uncomfortable; it upsets their status quo; it threatens their social position or power. Or perhaps it is because they themselves have lived that truth but are not yet ready to confront it because their wounds have not yet healed. Going there is a journey back to a place of hurt, and they aren’t ready to revisit that which caused them harm.

In any case, the very fact that a social issue raised by a film or by one of its makers or actors causes someone to feel disturbed is evidence that that person needs to confront that issue. If we feel uncomfortable with the film Straight Outta Compton, then perhaps it is because we still carry a spark of racism in our hearts. If The Danish Girl makes us squirm, maybe it’s because we haven’t reconciled our minds to the fact that some people’s gender and physiology don’t match up. If we were irritated by Carol, it’s probably because we’re homophobic to some degree. If we didn’t like the strong female characters of Mad Max: Fury Road, could it be because we harbor sexism?

The list goes on: An Inconvenient Truth angered climate change deniers; Brokeback Mountain offended opponents of gay rights; The Passion of the Christ managed to rile up both devout Christians and atheists. The point to remember is this: You don’t have to agree with the message of a film or with the message of the filmmakers to think critically about a topic presented in the film. All art is meant to make us think about something. Even when we go to the movies for pure entertainment, we think about what we see and hear in those films. The 2016 winner for best animated film, Inside Out, made us think about how we process our emotions, and how important it is to embrace both the negative and the positive feelings we all have as human beings. I love the Star Trek films, television shows, and novels because not only do they offer good science-fiction adventure, but also their various human and alien characters and the worlds they inhabit make me relate their experiences to those of real life people and places. When I think of people whose lives are different from my own, whose stories are not like mine, I come to understand them a bit better. Saint Francis of Assisi prayed, “O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek…To be understood as to understand…” I’m grateful to filmmakers, authors, painters, photographers, and other artists who help me understand those who are different from me. I may not always agree with the message they state, but the dissonance I feel can broaden my mind—and thus my heart—to be more inclusive, compassionate, and understanding. And doesn’t anything that helps us become more of these things bring us closer to the heart of God?

The Glad Path

          A few years ago, while visiting the Royal British Columbia Museum in Victoria, I saw a quote on the wall of one of the First Nations exhibits that I have remembered to this day. I can’t remember the exact wording, but it was something like this: “Share everything, and follow the path that makes your heart feel glad.” While the entire quote is open to interpretation, it was that second independent clause that impacted me most, “…follow the path that makes your heart feel glad.”

           So many times in my life, I have made good decisions for all the wrong reasons. I have let the fear of rejection, of disappointing others, and of falling into a state of poverty guide my process of deciding who I would be, what I would do, and where I would go. I have chosen the practical and common-sense option when I should have followed my heart. I have chosen my parents’ or partners’ preferences over my own. I have lived to please others rather than myself. None of these choices resulted in disaster; on the contrary, I did well in all of my educational pursuits and jobs. Yet they all left me with an emptiness inside that was hard to explain. I have always felt unfulfilled and restless despite my successes. I constantly felt there was a part of me that was unexpressed, a fetal persona that had been gestating for far too long and was at risk of dying before seeing the light of this world.

           That feeling fueled a self-defeating cycle of depression and anxiety. Impostor syndrome sneaked in on me in almost every professional role I assumed. “You’re a fake!” it whispered in my ear. “You don’t belong here!” Its words brought me down and made me feel unworthy. Then the anxiety set in. “What if somebody finds out I’m an impostor?” I asked myself. “What if I become irrelevant?” And the most frightening question of all, “What if I get stuck in this role until I’m too old to work, or until I die?” The coin then flipped to the depression side, and the cycle started all over.

           I began to realize that my choices have been largely motivated by fear. I have neglected to follow the path that makes my heart feel glad because that path is scary. It’s risky. It’s not practical or common-sense. There are no guarantees along its way. It is sometimes dark and twisted. Others will criticize me for taking it, or shake their heads in disbelief. Some will try to dissuade me. A few may even try to sabotage my future success, just to teach me a lesson, or to advance their own agendas. To all of those people, I kindly yet firmly now say, “Support me, or get out of my way.” Either travel this path with me, or cheer me on from the sidelines, or just get the hell away from me. I don’t need your negative critiques and opinions. I reject your arrogance. I refuse to receive the projection of your fears.

           So what are the paths that make me feel glad? I have worked with ESL and international students in higher education since 1988. I love working with these students, and I hope to continue a connection with this particular population in some way for as long as I can. But that is not the career I now desire to pursue with my passion. Ever since I was a small child, I have loved performing. Before I could even read, my mother taught me a simple song, told me I was going to stand in front of the entire church on a Sunday, and sing it. And I did. Later I memorized lines for Christmas plays at church, and then in high school for the drama club. In college I minored in drama and radio/TV production, making my stage debut as Linus in “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” (Typecasting? Probably) and acting in a TV variety show that we students produced. Now I participate in my church choir and in its drama group.

           I am no fool. I know how difficult it is to make a living in the performing arts. But there is one segment of the industry that does offer the potential for steady income, and that is voice acting. Voiceovers are everywhere: parking garage kiosks, smartphone apps, video games, online trainings and classes, phone tree answering systems, and more. And of course there are the obvious sources of disembodied voices: TV and internet commercials, radio announcements, video documentaries, cartoons. There is work to be had, and there are people doing that work for pay. Some of them are phenomenal voice actors. Some of them are not. I am somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. I see that as giving me good prospects for employment while having a goal to work toward. I have been using my voice to inform, inspire, and entertain others almost all of my life. I can do this! And I will do it!

           But the path, as I said earlier, is scary. There are many unknowns. It is dark and winding. I can only see one step at a time. Yet my faith tells me that if I take that first step, the one I can see clearly, then the second step will be illuminated. And when I take it, the third will become apparent. And so on and so on as I travel down that path. And because it is the path that makes my heart feel glad, I will walk it more bravely and confidently. I will be scared as hell, and there will be times when I will want so badly to take an alternate route or turn around completely. But I will have companions and cheerleaders along the way to keep me on track. As Taylor Swift said in her recent Grammy acceptance speech, I will arrive at my success knowing it was me and the people who love me that got me there.

           And that, dear loved ones, is where you come in. I need your help to travel this path, to help me realize my dreams and achieve my goals. Anyone who says he is a self-made man is a liar. No one, and I mean no one, is self-made. We all get to where we are with the help and support of people who love us and believe in us. So I ask those who love me to help and support me in my journey. Cheer me on. Provide me some positive feedback followed by a note to help me improve. Introduce me to people you know who might be able to help me to that next step on the path. If you work in the industry, or have a project needing voiceover, give me a chance. Right now my rates are extremely reasonable, so catch me while you can afford me, LOL.

           If you want to hear some samples of my voiceover work, visit https://www.voices.com/people/mjisham#demos. If you’ve got some work for me to do, email mjisham62@yahoo.com.

UPDATE: Thanks to Mr. Michael Barnes, Head of Exhibitions, Collections, Knowledge & Engagement at the Royal British Columbia Museum in Victoria, for clarifying the quote's source and exact wording: "We are guided by our culture and the advice of our elders to share and 'always try to follow the road that makes your heart feel good.'" Attributed to the Nisga'a Lisims Government.

To Live in the Light is to Live Without Fear

          In the wee hours of the morning, when insomnia has won our wrestling match and the thoughts in my brain spin round and round like a whirlpool, epiphanies can occur. Well, either they’re epiphanies or the musings of a madman. Either way, these revelations inspire me to write as a way to process my thoughts, and the theme that emerged this morning is fear.

           For decades, fear kept me from being who I truly am. It kept me in a closet, hiding my heart from everyone for fear of being rejected, or worse, beaten up or even killed. The church taught that people like me were an abomination, worthy of a horrible death. Gay people were not and still aren’t well tolerated in small towns in Texas.

           Fear kept me from running after my vocational dreams. From a very young age, I wanted to be an actor on television. I loved playing fantasy games, where I acted the role of the hero or his or her sidekick. I took steps to an extent by being involved in the drama club in high school and by taking theater classes in college. But the fear of not being able to make a living held me back. I went the practical route instead and got a job in an office. Yuck.

           When it came to speaking my mind, the fear of offending someone or causing conflict kept me silent. I often have strong opinions, and I feel that many of those opinions are valid, but I’m so afraid of rocking the boat that I usually keep my thoughts to myself. The unfortunate consequence is that I have not learned to advocate for myself well, which often makes me passive-aggressive. Lots of fun to be around.

           As a person of faith in God and a follower of the Christ way, I strive to keep my thoughts and actions in alignment with the values I feel are of God. That’s what made me think of fear and how it has impeded my development as a fully realized child of God.

           We associate God with light. In the book of Genesis, God says, “Let there be light.” All of creation emanated from God, and light was the first of God’s creations. Light is good. Plants need it to grow, we need it to be healthy, it keeps us warm. Without light, there is utter and complete darkness, which we associate with fear. That’s why I believe the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. God is love, therefore light comes from love. As light always conquers darkness, so love always conquers fear. The Christian Bible says that in 1 John 4:18. Hate is the result of fear, as is greed and lust and all other destructive attitudes we call sin.

           Fear is what makes Americans put their faith in guns instead of God despite the fact that we have an enormously high mass murder rate among our counterparts in the developed world. Fear keeps our cities and states from showing hospitality to the strangers at our gates, and even makes our leaders penalize those who do try to show hospitality. Read the story of Sodom in the Old Testament, then read Ezekiel 16:49 and feel truly afraid. God did not destroy Sodom because there were supposedly homosexuals there, as some Christians, Jews, and Muslims would have you believe, but rather because they failed to show hospitality to strangers in need. Americans refusing asylum to refugees and building walls on our borders are modern-day Sodomites.

           The fear of people whose skin is darker than our own has caused a centuries-long oppression of black people in America, an oppression that is often tragically acted out on young, black men, sometimes with deadly results.

           Fearing people whose gender identities don’t match their assigned sex has resulted in tragic, senseless acts of violence, too. According to the Human Rights Campaign, at least twenty-one transgendered men and women—nineteen of them people of color—have been killed so far in 2015 in the U.S.

           Sadly, I could go on and on about how fear has caused death and sorrow for so many. One cannot deny that racism, homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, classism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, religious bigotry, and all other attitudes that result in division, hate, anger, and other destructive actions are rooted in fear.

           Those who fear live in darkness. While the light of God’s love might leak through the brokenness of their hearts from time to time, the darkness in there prevails, and fear rules. Greedy corporations and their lobbyists, and the politicians, lawmakers, and law enforcers who are their puppets, use fear to manipulate the masses for their own gains. Another mass shooting? Quick, go buy a gun to keep yourself safe from the terrorists and madmen. Immigrants and refugees taking your jobs away and living off welfare? Here, let me build a wall for you. And don’t worry, I’ll outsource the labor overseas so I can save myself some money. Same-sex marriage destroying the sanctity of your marriage(s)? Well, let’s put a stop to that…but I’ll need a donation from you to run my campaign.

           People who live in that twilight zone between full light and full darkness are especially vulnerable to the temptation to give in to fear. I know, because I’ve been there, and I still find myself there from time to time. Like a moth drawn to a flame, though, I want to always head toward the light. Unlike the poor moth, however, I will be purified by the light of God’s love. I will be able to see more clearly and come to a better understanding of what it really, truly means to be a follower of Christ.

           And the operative word in that previous sentence is “be.” God does not call us to do, but rather to be. To be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. I cannot be these things, though, if I live in fear. And being these things does not mean that I do not speak my mind, or pursue my dreams, or express who I am, or stand up for my views. On the contrary, living in the light and casting out fear means that we have courage from God to both be and do all that God knows we can. For me, it is the courage to stand up for justice, peace, tolerance, inclusion, compassion, and generosity. If our being is in the light, then the doing that results will draw others to the light. The darkness will flee, and so will the hate and bigotry and all other fear-based attitudes along with it.

Who am I, and why am I here?

Note: This is the text of a message I delivered at St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church, Pleasant Hill, California on Sunday, August 16, 2015. It was my first time ever to "preach" a sermon. The scripture references are Psalm 139:13-16 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 and 27.

           Who am I, and why am I here? These are questions that human beings have been asking themselves probably ever since God first said, “Let us make humans in our image.” Who am I? What’s my identity? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in this life?

           When I was a child, my identity was pretty simple: my name, my address, and my position in my family. Markel Jay Isham, Route One Box Something-I-can’t-remember-now, Comanche, Texas, 76442, the youngest child of Edward and Lorraine Isham. My purpose? Eat, play, sleep, stay out of the way, clean my room, and act nice. Come to think of it, that’s pretty good advice for a middle-aged man, too. But we’ll come back to middle age later.

           The church I grew up in played a huge role in the early development of my faith identity as a Christian. Some of you have heard of the Free Will Baptist Church, but for those who have not, it is a small, southern denomination that looks much like the Southern Baptist church in practice, but is more like the old timey Methodists in doctrine except for the facts that Free Will Baptists baptize only by immersion only those who are old enough to profess their faith in Christ, and they practice the tradition of feet washing every time they have communion…which is only a few times a year, at most. In my childhood, women never wore pants to church, and sadly the denomination still doesn’t ordain women for the ministry or as deacons. Nevertheless, I owe much of my personal knowledge of Christ to saintly Free Will Baptist women like Dess Gosset and Dovey Bradshaw and Granny Hughes, who had a stick of Doublemint gum for me every Sunday morning. I’ve no doubt they are all part of that great cloud of witnesses we talked about in the time for all God’s children, along with men like Ted Patton and Ellis Morphew, who used to make all us kids stand up and sing “Love Lifted Me” while he directed with those old-school hand signs for each note on the scale.

           In adolescence, especially in high school, my identity began to take on more definition. I was a nerd; all my teachers liked me, and even though I didn’t study nearly as hard as I could or should have, I made good grades. I played the saxophone in the concert band and the jazz band, and the xylophone in the marching band. I was active in the drama club—no surprise there. And I was one of those Christian kids. Well, most kids in my small town Texas high school called themselves Christian; those who didn’t were the ones who stood out. Comanche, Texas is, after all, pretty much the buckle of the Bible Belt. Doing well in school, winning band awards, staying out of trouble, not getting fired from my part-time job, and going to church three times a week were pretty much my only purposes in those years.

           All that changed once I entered college. I lived at home and commuted for the first two years, so my life wasn’t much different from my high school years. But after I transferred and started attending another college, where I lived in the dormitory, I started to emerge more as my own person. I began to see myself more independently. My major—speech and English education—added a lot to my identity. I began to see myself as a teacher. From a psychological perspective, I adopted the terms I learned from various assessment instruments I took in college classes, especially the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or MBTI. Some of you are familiar with it, so without going into much detail, it means that I am energized by being with people; that I take in information on an intuitive or gut level; I process that information on an emotional level, thinking about how it makes me and others feel; and I prefer to be open-ended, to go with the flow, to have flexible rather than rigid plans. Another popular instrument identified me as an Artistic-Social type. What does all that mean in common terms? I’m one of those flighty creative types who likes to work with other people in an artistic setting, and I don’t care much for bureaucracy, rules, and regulations. Needless to say, being a Presbyterian has sometimes been a real challenge for me.

           My faith identity during those years was strongly influenced by my sojourn as an English teacher in South Korea. I spent more than eight years there, and they were some of the best and most memorable years of my life. My faith practice was no match for the dedication and zeal displayed by my Korean brothers and sisters in Christ. Let me tell you, if ever you need a prayer warrior on your side, call a Korean. They strongly believe in the power of prayer.

           My life’s purpose began to take on more definition during that time, too. I strove to develop my career as an educator, investing time and money in graduate school and participating in professional organizations. I also sought to do work that was meaningful to me. And I looked at ways I could serve the Lord using the gifts and talents that I felt I had been given. I’ve always enjoyed speaking and performing and singing and writing, and I continue to look for ways to utilize those gifts. Thus I stand before you today.

           Then along came middle age, that time when I began to reflect on all I had seen and done and wonder, Is this all there is? Should I have taken a different route? Is this really what I want to do and who I want to be for the next twenty or thirty years, or the rest of my life? My professional identity began to expand. I saw myself more in light of my skills and experiences than my job titles, and the verbs became more important to me than the nouns: teaching, training, speaking, advising and counseling, acting, performing, writing. Creating. Facilitating. Informing, inspiring, and entertaining.

           My faith identity has changed in my middle age years, too. I don’t want to be just a practitioner of a religion based mostly on two thousand years of church history, doctrine, and tradition, but rather one who emulates the person of Jesus as best as I know Him through scriptures and other historical documents, through the lives of others who have followed His Way, and through the teachings and prompts of the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart. For me, imitating Jesus is the best way to connect with my Creator.

           This different outlook on my faith identity affected how I defined my purpose. Now I seek to use the gifts and talents that I know in my heart I possess, and to refrain from trying to be anything to anybody any time. That’s hard for me to do because I’m a person who has an immense need to be liked, so saying “no” is incredibly difficult for me. The result has been that I have often found myself in roles and positions that created a lot of stress and anxiety because of the mismatch. Sure, God equips those whom God calls. And of course, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. But God doesn’t call one individual to do all things. It’s important for each of us to get acquainted with ourselves and come to know what it is we do best, what energizes us and makes our hearts feel glad, and to invest those parts of ourselves into the building of Christ’s realm. When we built the Celebration Center, we didn’t hire electricians to do carpenters’ work, nor did we hire carpet layers to install the plumbing. Each person involved in the construction of that facility had his or her area of expertise to contribute, and so do we.

           The Psalmist who wrote number 139 knew that he or she was known by God even before birth and was fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139 has been a source of great inspiration and comfort to me ever since I first discovered it right after college. It tells me that I am special and unique, that I am not an accident, and that I am who I am as God made me…or as the modern-day psalmist Stefani Germanotta—otherwise known as Lady Gaga—puts it, “Baby, I was born this way.”

           According to the nonprofit Population Reference Bureau, an estimated 108 billion people have ever lived on the earth, including us. That’s 108 billion unique individuals that God knew in the womb. No two of us has ever been completely alike. Even identical twins, formed from the division of one fertilized egg, are not one hundred percent alike. One hundred eight billion unique, special, one-of-a-kind souls. And God knew and knows each one of us intimately, down to the very number of hairs on—or not on—our heads.

           With each of these individual identities throughout the ages seeking his own self-serving interests, it’s a wonder we haven’t already caused our own extinction from this planet. But God loved these billions and billions of souls so much that God sent a unifying force among us to give us unity in our individuality, and that is the Spirit of Christ exemplified in the life of God’s own Son Jesus. The writer of the first epistle to the church in Corinth about two thousand years ago understood this early concept of e pluribus unum, or “from many we are one.” Using the metaphor of the human body—probably the only thing that every human being can personally relate to—he or she wrote that while a body has many parts, and each part has its special or unique role to play, the body functions as one unit. So, too, do we followers of the Christ Way exhibit individual identities comprised of an infinite range of gifts and talents and attributes that all fit snugly into the great jigsaw puzzle that is the Body of Christ reflecting God’s unfathomable love for the world.

           In order for a human body to function in a healthy way, each part has to do its work well without interfering in the work of other parts. Can you imagine what would happen if my gall bladder tried to pump my blood, or my kidney tried to breathe for me? The gall bladder and kidney need to know what they do best and do that as best they can. And we, too, need to know ourselves well so we can do what we do best as well as we can and leave the other work for the other parts to do.

           Sometimes we know in our hearts what our gifts and talents are because we’re drawn to certain activities. From a very young age I enjoyed playing imaginary role-playing games. In fact, we used to use the phrase “play like” a lot: “Let’s play like we’re pirates on a ship,” or “Let’s play like we’re exploring a volcano on a tropical island.” This led me to drama club in high school and college and a minor in theater and participating in Cornerstone productions here at church. I liked singing in church when I was a child, so one day when I was about five years old, my mother gave me a hymnal, showed me the song “Every day with Jesus,” and told me I was going to sing it at church all by myself. And I did, without wetting my pants in front of everybody. In elementary school I wrote fanciful stories, and in college I won creative writing awards. I enjoyed informative speaking and helping people learn new things, so I became a teacher.

           Other times, though, we have to try and fail in order to know what gifts and talents we don’t possess. In elementary school I tried sports; it was not a pretty sight. In high school I was in student government; not my cup of tea. In college I changed my major from journalism to speech communications because questioning people to get a lead on a story was too confrontational for me. Through the years I have learned that leadership, governance, and administration are definitely not my gifts, and any activity that involves confrontation and disharmony makes me feel extremely anxious. At work I realized that sitting behind a desk and talking to people one on one all day long about the problems they were having in school was destroying my soul as well as my health, so I resigned and went back to teaching. Take it from me, trying to be something that you’re not is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. That’s just not going to do anybody any good.

           As our gifts, talents, and other strengths help define us, so too do our challenges and weaknesses. I think that’s just a part of God’s plan to keep us humble and to show God’s grace and strength through us. Paul called his struggles his “thorn in the flesh.” One of mine is a lifelong mild anxiety disorder that rears its ugly head any time I experience confrontation or disharmony or feel overwhelmed by the demands other people place on me. Another is a struggle with boredom; it comes too easily for me because I abhor repetition and monotony. I’d like to say that’s because I have a brilliantly active mind that craves constant stimulation, but I’m sure a psychologist would have a different explanation that’s less flattering.

           After more than half a century of life, I am still getting to know myself and figuring out what my purpose is in this world. It’s all a journey, and I suspect that it might continue in one way or another even after we go on to join that great cloud of witnesses to be with God in Christ. But maybe the journey is the whole point. In fact, when you think you have arrived at your life’s destination, you often realize your journey has really just begun…or that a new journey is beginning. When I was a young adult, I thought I knew everything; now I am painfully aware of how ignorant I am. Once upon a time I thought I had all the answers; now my head is full of endless questions. Maybe that’s God’s plan, for me to keep seeking, wondering, exploring, learning, growing, and becoming the best me that I can be.

           I hope you spend some time getting to know yourself better, understanding what your gifts and talents and best attributes are, and what your challenges and weaknesses are, too…because all of that is what makes you fearfully and wonderfully made; made for God’s purposes in the body of Christ.

A Letter to Religious Conservatives

A letter to religious conservatives, especially Christians, concerning the recent ruling by the Supreme Court of the United States overturning state bans on marriage equality for same-sex couples:

          As I and other supporters of marriage equality celebrated the Court’s decision, you reacted with a wide range of emotions, from indifference, to disappointment, to sadness, to outright anger. Most of your emotions are fear-based. We expected that of you because fear seems to be the modus operandi of most conservatives.

          However, let’s take a moment to play the “what-if” game. I’ll go first. What if you’re right, and I’m wrong. Come to find out, sexual and affectional orientation is, indeed, a choice, and I have chosen wrongly. On judgment day, when I stand before my Maker—who apparently creates everyone with the capacity for this choice—I will be judged for having chosen to spend my life with a member of my own sex; for having loved and cherished him until death separated us; for enjoying life’s ups and enduring its downs as equal partners in the journey. I will be judged for believing those verses in the Bible (which we both respect and revere, by the way) a bit too literally. You know, the ones that say “Two are better than one…” and so on (see Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 for the whole bit). I will be judged for having forced a good man into my family and having adopted his family as my own. You know, like Ruth did with Naomi. I will be judged for advocating politically for the same rights and responsibilities as opposite-sex couples, so he and I could share our resources more completely and not have them taken away by the state or by greedy family members (not that either mine or his would; they are not like that, thank the Lord) in the case that one of us predeceases the other, and so we could make medical decisions for each other and have hospital visitation rights like opposite-sex married couples. I will be judged for having kissed him hello and goodbye and sometimes for no reason at all. I will be judged for having held his hand and hugged him close. And yes, I will be judged for having had some fantastically fulfilling monogamous sex with him despite the fact that neither one of us could make the other pregnant without a miracle even greater than the Virgin Birth. God will say, “Depart from me, ye worker of iniquity! I never knew you!” Because that’s what God says to everyone who goes to hell, right? Am I on track here? That is what you conservatives believe, right? I should know; I spent the first quarter century or so of my life surrounded by the likes of you.

          OK, your turn. Let’s pretend I’m right and you’re wrong. Sexual/affectional orientation is not a choice; gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people are, indeed, born that way, and God loves us just the way we are. God is much more concerned with how well we’ve loved than with whom we’ve loved, and the Bible does not, after all, forbid same-sex marriage. What will you be judged for? You will be judged for your part in perpetuating centuries of exclusion of LGBT people from your religious communities. You will be judged for lumping them into the same categories as idol worshippers, child molesters, and animal rapists; I’m pretty sure that violates the ninth commandment. Remember those? You like to post them on public property and then forget the ones about stealing and adultery and coveting and so on. You will be judged for your complicit participation in the violence that your less self-controlled counterparts have inflicted on LGBT people because they saw your vitriol and took that as permission to commit horrendous acts against LGBT folks. You will be judged for the thousands upon thousands of LGBT youth who found themselves on the streets after their families learned who they were because those families believed their precious children were an abomination. The blood of LGBT children and teens who killed themselves rather than endure the constant bullying at school and at home will be on your hands. You will be judged for having believed a lie based in misogyny perpetuated by patriarchal religious hierarchies. You will be judged for not having loved others as Christ first loved you. You will be judged for having judged others with often very harmful consequences.

          Remember, this is just a game. And let us heed the words of the Apostle Paul and remember that “…now we see through a glass, darkly.” The fact is that probably neither side of this argument is completely right or completely wrong. Maybe God does like opposite-sex marriage only, or maybe God likes it better than same-sex marriage, or maybe God doesn’t give a rat’s ass about marriage. Jesus did say in Matthew 22 that, like the angels, people won’t be married in Heaven. If marriage is such a big deal to God, then why won’t there be marriage in the afterlife?

          Allowing same-sex marriage will in no way whatsoever affect opposite-sex marriages. The United States is the twenty-second country on the earth to extend civil marriage equality to same-sex couples. None of the others have burned in fire and brimstone. Does that mean that God only cares about American politics? How arrogant to presume so! God doesn’t love America! God loves Americans…and Chinese and Koreans and Japanese and Brazilians and Kenyans and all the other people of all the other countries on this planet we all share. God loves people. And gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered individuals are people loved by God and worthy of dignity and respect.

          Those of us who profess to follow Christ will be judged according to how we have treated “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40). We will also be judged for how well we’ve loved our neighbor as we’ve loved ourselves. Aren’t people who are excluded and reviled among the least of these? Aren’t LGBT people your neighbors? Aren’t we all called to love one another, without condition or exception?

          If fear truly is your modus operandi, then you need to let the love of Christ into your heart. Christ’s love is perfect, and “…perfect love drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18). If, however, you claim to “love the sinner but hate the sin,” then I challenge you to really get to know a same-sex couple. Visit their home. See how they live. Hear their stories. Eat with them. Laugh at jokes together. Play some board or card games. Attend movies and sporting events and concerts and plays together. Meet their families. Maybe even visit the churches and places of worship they attend and see how their congregations worship and fellowship.

Beware, though: conversion and transformation are likely to occur, and you might be surprised at whose heart will be changed.

Marriage Equality

          June 26, 2015 will go down in history as the day that the Supreme Court of the United States declared that states do not have the right to deny marriage to same-sex couples. There was much celebrating across the country by people who labored, prayed, and waited for this decision. There were also expressions of disappointment, sadness, and even anger from those who do not support marriage equality for all couples, most of these coming from Republicans and the Religious Right.

          Whatever one believes about marriage personally, this occasion will someday be merely a note in a history book, much like Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court case of 1967 which resulted in the abolition of state laws banning interracial marriage. At that time, conservatives and others (mostly Christians probably) expressed the same type of disapproval of the Court’s decision. In fact, the last state to strike anti-miscegenation laws from its books was Alabama, in 2000—more than thirty years after the Court’s ruling. Today, most people take interracial marriage for granted, with even most conservative evangelical Christians hardly batting an eyelash at a marriage between two people of different races. In the same way that most of today’s children and teens find it hard to believe that two people of different races were once prohibited from marrying in the United States, young people in years to come will wonder why two men or two women who loved each other were once prohibited from marrying. What is now the new normal for us will be simply normal for them.

          Even the one man-one woman model of marriage is a relatively new concept in human history. In most cultures around the world throughout time, men have been allowed to have more than one wife, either through formal marriage arrangements or through having concubines. In a few cultures, women were allowed more than one husband. In one traditional culture of China, marriage doesn’t even exist. Women may be with any male they prefer, and if a pregnancy results, she raises the child with the support of her parents and siblings. The father usually visits the child and participates in the childrearing, and may even come to live with the mother and her family, but marriage as we understand it isn’t a part of their tradition.

          The Old Testament of the Bible shows us lots of alternative marriage arrangements. Abraham was married to his half-sister, Sarah, with whom he fathered Isaac, but he also fathered a son, Ishmael, with his concubine, Hagar. It was common practice for men to take a concubine if their wives were unable to conceive a son. Isaac’s son, Jacob, had at least two wives. And Old Testament law provided for marriage arrangements that we today would find appalling: for example, if a woman was raped and her rapist agreed to pay her bride price, she was forced to become his wife; if a woman’s husband died before giving her a son, his surviving brother was to take the woman as his wife and impregnate her. Women were usually given in marriage to the highest bidder as soon as they reached childbearing age (a practice still done in many countries). And Ruth seduced a male relative of her deceased husband (because he had no surviving brothers), got pregnant by him, then gave the child to her mother-in-law to raise. All of this sounds like fodder for modern reality TV, but I suspect the motivation for these laws was the care that sons provided to elderly parents, especially mothers. No son, no retirement plan.

          The point I’m trying to make is that marriage has always been more of a civil contract than a religious sacrament. In fact, the Christian church didn’t institute marriage as a sacrament until around the twelfth century. Up until that time, Christian communities abided by local traditions and laws when it came to marriage. When it comes to marriage as a sacrament, there are as many widely varying opinions as there are religions. In a secular nation, there is separation of church and government, at least to the point that no one church or faith governs the state. If religious freedom is valued, then all religions must have equal protections under the law of that nation. To define marriage from a religious perspective is to inject religion into government, which is actually a threat to religious liberty, the freedom to practice—or not practice—religion as one chooses.

          From a purely secular and civil perspective, the rights and responsibilities of marriage should be extended to all persons in the nation regardless of age, race, gender identification, sex assigned at birth, sexual or affectional orientation, physical ability, or other traits or characteristics which are innate to the individual. If two consenting adults want to enter into a marriage contract, then so be it. Religions that disapprove of same-sex relationships do not have to conduct same-sex marriages in their religious houses. Nor do they have to conduct interracial marriages, or second (or third or fourth or--) marriages, or marriages between infertile couples, or interfaith marriages, or any other marital arrangement their religion forbids.

          No religion, however, can dictate how one treats others outside of one’s religious house of worship in a secular nation. No religion gives anyone the right to be racist, sexist, faithist, heterosexist, or a bigot of any sort. NONE. Period. You don’t believe in same-sex marriage? Fine. Don’t marry someone of the same sex. Disapprove all you want to. But do NOT stand in the way of another citizen of this nation striving for the same rights and responsibilities you have. Religion does not give you that right. If you work for the government or serve the public in some way, neither does your religion grant you the right to discriminate against those with whom you disagree. Can you imagine the outrage that would ensue if I refused to teach a Republican student on the grounds that that student’s conservative lifestyle choices offended my religious sensibilities (which they do, by the way)?

          As a gay follower of Christ, I celebrate yesterday’s decision by the Supreme Court of the United States, but I will not marry simply because I now can. I will marry when it is the right decision for me and my partner. A civil document guarantees certain rights and responsibilities to each other, so marriage is a serious decision to make with much prior thought and (for us) prayer. It represents a union of two lives becoming one, of the creation of a new family—be that a family of two or a family of ten—and a partnership where two are better than one. Sacrament or not, marriage is serious business, not to be entered into lightly.

          It will be interesting to note in the coming years how the same-sex couple divorce rate compares to that of opposite-sex couples. Opposite-sex couples’ current divorce rate is about fifty percent, so they aren’t exactly the standard bearers for traditional marriage values. After so much hard work to gain marriage equality, could it be that same-sex couples will become the new bastion of family values and sticking together through thick and thin, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do they part? Only time will tell.

Why are we so uncomfortable with transgendered individuals?

          Anybody who watches any television at all, or looks at the Internet even occasionally, or even pays attention to what other people are talking about, has most likely heard of Caitlyn Jenner by now. The former U.S. Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner recently identified as transgender and has completed her transition to female. Caitlyn debuted her new look in a recent preview of Vanity Fair’s July issue.

          Responses have been mostly supportive, but those that aren’t are often cruel and ignorant. Sadly, many of these are from people who claim to be followers of Christ. They say God doesn’t make mistakes, that if a man is effeminate or a woman is masculine, it’s because that’s the way God intended them to be. This argument is rubbish. If a child is born with her heart outside her body, do we glibly say, “Well, that’s God’s will, so be it”? Of course not! We live in a day and age where medical science can correct this defect so that the child can grow up healthy. We turn to medical science to correct all sorts of defects and impairments and incongruencies so that we can be “normal,” whatever that means to us. Even in the case of accidents, when one loses a limb or an organ, we seek ways to restore the lost or damaged appendage and to be whole again. Few criticize such efforts, and most praise the science that makes restoration possible.

          Yet when gender or sexuality are involved, many among us express disgust and even anger, purporting to defend God and God’s ways. How arrogant to presume that God has appointed us God’s mouthpiece! Isn’t God perfectly capable of speaking for God’s self? Perhaps our yapping and trolling and posting and criticizing and judging keep our brains and mouths busy enough so our hearts and ears don’t have to listen to what God is trying to say to us through the lives of the very people we are beating up with our words.

          Any patriarchal society—including most in Christendom—honors, reveres, and even worships the phallus. Many of my fellow Christians will be angry at this statement, because they don’t bow to a phallus statue like our ancient ancestors once did. But we do put humans with penises above those who don’t have them. How many Christian denominations still don’t ordain women for the ministry? Or allow women to teach in church? Or exclude gay men? Or deny women the use of birth control? Some fringe Christian sects even treat women as little more than baby factories and live-in domestic help.

          Most Christians will turn to the creation stories in Genesis to explain their viewpoint: “Male and female, he [God] created them.” (Genesis 1:27 and 5:2). Yet they ignore the New Testament reference to God’s opinion about gender, among other things: “…there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28). If we are all one in Christ Jesus, and God doesn’t discriminate on the basis of gender, then why do we, as followers of Christ, continue to do so?

          Let’s get something very clear: your sex is between your legs, but your gender is between your ears. For most of us, the two match up just fine. But for some, they don’t. And that incongruence can make life miserable for people who live in a society that places so much emphasis on sex roles and gender conformity. Instead of looking at a person’s spirit, we evaluate what sort of genitals we think they have and then expect them to live up to certain expectations merely on the basis of whether they have a penis or a vagina (God help the intersexed, who are born with both!).

          In the ancient world, men who identified as female and women who identified as male were often allowed to live their lives as they identified. In many Native American tribes, such people are referred to as two spirit, or berdache. These ancient cultures understood something that we seem to have a hard time grasping, that sex and gender are two different things.

          And why do we, as believers in the God of Abraham, have such a hard time with gender fluidity and non-conformity when the very God we worship has no gender? We call God “he” simply because the English language doesn’t have a gender-neutral pronoun appropriate for a person; calling God “It” seems disrespectful. Some languages in the world have no gender-specific pronouns at all, and they don’t adopt English pronouns when speaking about God. And if we examine Biblical references to angels and the souls of people in the afterlife, we can surmise that neither angels nor we will have gender once we depart this earthly plane of existence (see Matthew 22:30 and Mark 12:25). At least, at that point, gender and sex will be irrelevant.

          So why do we berate and criticize and judge people like Caitlyn Jenner and Chaz Bono and countless others around the world who seek medical assistance to help their outsides match their insides when the Bible is clear that gender is not such a big deal? I’ll tell you why. It’s because it upsets the status quo and makes males and male-worshipping females feel a loss of power and control, and perhaps even question their own gender-based biases and assumptions. Because it forces us to confront God’s very own feminine characteristics (there are many references in both the Old and New Testaments that use feminine pronouns in the original Biblical languages to refer to God, and use female metaphors for God; just look them up, if you dare). Acknowledging these aspects of God’s nature compels us to reflect the same in the world we live in, a calling that truly terrifies many Christians because it makes them vulnerable to the same judgment and derision that they may have doled out themselves.

          I personally believe we are so uncomfortable with transgendered individuals—especially male-to-female individuals—and with effeminate gay men and masculine lesbians, as well, because at our core many of us are misogynistic. For thousands of years we have demeaned and exploited and abused and neglected God’s pinnacle of creation (if you are a creationist, you cannot deny that God wasn’t done until God made woman!). Men who identify as women, effeminate gay men, and even straight men who display personality traits that are perceived as feminine (sensitivity, creativity, a caring heart) have been the objects of derision because of their feminine qualities. Aren’t all people made in the image of God? Does God make mistakes? No? Then how hypocritical of us Christians to demean people for simply trying to be who they are in as authentic a way as possible.

          It is easy for me to write these words because I do not identify as transgender, and because I do not personally know a transgendered individual (at least, not to my knowledge). No one in my family or immediate circle of friends is transgendered. No one in my church or workplace is transgendered that I know of. I certainly know men who display feminine characteristics, as well as women who possess masculine traits, but none of them have come out to me as transgendered. I even hesitate to use those words “masculine” and “feminine” when talking about one’s characteristics, because all of that is merely a social invention. There is no biological basis for being strong or sensitive or caring or authoritative. These are all just human qualities that we are all capable of possessing and cultivating and fine-tuning as we grow and develop. But when the day comes that I am privileged to be in the company of a transgendered individual, I pray that I can respond with the grace, compassion, and dignity that my Lord Jesus would have shown that person, and that I can show them the love of Christ and accept them as they are, which is how I am accepted by the God who made me.