The Glad Path

          A few years ago, while visiting the Royal British Columbia Museum in Victoria, I saw a quote on the wall of one of the First Nations exhibits that I have remembered to this day. I can’t remember the exact wording, but it was something like this: “Share everything, and follow the path that makes your heart feel glad.” While the entire quote is open to interpretation, it was that second independent clause that impacted me most, “…follow the path that makes your heart feel glad.”

           So many times in my life, I have made good decisions for all the wrong reasons. I have let the fear of rejection, of disappointing others, and of falling into a state of poverty guide my process of deciding who I would be, what I would do, and where I would go. I have chosen the practical and common-sense option when I should have followed my heart. I have chosen my parents’ or partners’ preferences over my own. I have lived to please others rather than myself. None of these choices resulted in disaster; on the contrary, I did well in all of my educational pursuits and jobs. Yet they all left me with an emptiness inside that was hard to explain. I have always felt unfulfilled and restless despite my successes. I constantly felt there was a part of me that was unexpressed, a fetal persona that had been gestating for far too long and was at risk of dying before seeing the light of this world.

           That feeling fueled a self-defeating cycle of depression and anxiety. Impostor syndrome sneaked in on me in almost every professional role I assumed. “You’re a fake!” it whispered in my ear. “You don’t belong here!” Its words brought me down and made me feel unworthy. Then the anxiety set in. “What if somebody finds out I’m an impostor?” I asked myself. “What if I become irrelevant?” And the most frightening question of all, “What if I get stuck in this role until I’m too old to work, or until I die?” The coin then flipped to the depression side, and the cycle started all over.

           I began to realize that my choices have been largely motivated by fear. I have neglected to follow the path that makes my heart feel glad because that path is scary. It’s risky. It’s not practical or common-sense. There are no guarantees along its way. It is sometimes dark and twisted. Others will criticize me for taking it, or shake their heads in disbelief. Some will try to dissuade me. A few may even try to sabotage my future success, just to teach me a lesson, or to advance their own agendas. To all of those people, I kindly yet firmly now say, “Support me, or get out of my way.” Either travel this path with me, or cheer me on from the sidelines, or just get the hell away from me. I don’t need your negative critiques and opinions. I reject your arrogance. I refuse to receive the projection of your fears.

           So what are the paths that make me feel glad? I have worked with ESL and international students in higher education since 1988. I love working with these students, and I hope to continue a connection with this particular population in some way for as long as I can. But that is not the career I now desire to pursue with my passion. Ever since I was a small child, I have loved performing. Before I could even read, my mother taught me a simple song, told me I was going to stand in front of the entire church on a Sunday, and sing it. And I did. Later I memorized lines for Christmas plays at church, and then in high school for the drama club. In college I minored in drama and radio/TV production, making my stage debut as Linus in “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” (Typecasting? Probably) and acting in a TV variety show that we students produced. Now I participate in my church choir and in its drama group.

           I am no fool. I know how difficult it is to make a living in the performing arts. But there is one segment of the industry that does offer the potential for steady income, and that is voice acting. Voiceovers are everywhere: parking garage kiosks, smartphone apps, video games, online trainings and classes, phone tree answering systems, and more. And of course there are the obvious sources of disembodied voices: TV and internet commercials, radio announcements, video documentaries, cartoons. There is work to be had, and there are people doing that work for pay. Some of them are phenomenal voice actors. Some of them are not. I am somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. I see that as giving me good prospects for employment while having a goal to work toward. I have been using my voice to inform, inspire, and entertain others almost all of my life. I can do this! And I will do it!

           But the path, as I said earlier, is scary. There are many unknowns. It is dark and winding. I can only see one step at a time. Yet my faith tells me that if I take that first step, the one I can see clearly, then the second step will be illuminated. And when I take it, the third will become apparent. And so on and so on as I travel down that path. And because it is the path that makes my heart feel glad, I will walk it more bravely and confidently. I will be scared as hell, and there will be times when I will want so badly to take an alternate route or turn around completely. But I will have companions and cheerleaders along the way to keep me on track. As Taylor Swift said in her recent Grammy acceptance speech, I will arrive at my success knowing it was me and the people who love me that got me there.

           And that, dear loved ones, is where you come in. I need your help to travel this path, to help me realize my dreams and achieve my goals. Anyone who says he is a self-made man is a liar. No one, and I mean no one, is self-made. We all get to where we are with the help and support of people who love us and believe in us. So I ask those who love me to help and support me in my journey. Cheer me on. Provide me some positive feedback followed by a note to help me improve. Introduce me to people you know who might be able to help me to that next step on the path. If you work in the industry, or have a project needing voiceover, give me a chance. Right now my rates are extremely reasonable, so catch me while you can afford me, LOL.

           If you want to hear some samples of my voiceover work, visit https://www.voices.com/people/mjisham#demos. If you’ve got some work for me to do, email mjisham62@yahoo.com.

UPDATE: Thanks to Mr. Michael Barnes, Head of Exhibitions, Collections, Knowledge & Engagement at the Royal British Columbia Museum in Victoria, for clarifying the quote's source and exact wording: "We are guided by our culture and the advice of our elders to share and 'always try to follow the road that makes your heart feel good.'" Attributed to the Nisga'a Lisims Government.