Dear Right-wing Fundamentalist Conservative Christians,
Help me
understand you. Many of you believe that God’s wrath will rain down in judgment
on America because we will allow same-gender adult couples to publicly and
legally affirm their love, commitment, fidelity, and responsibility to each
other in the same way that we allow opposite gender couples to do so. I
understand where that belief comes from. I grew up in a very conservative
church that viewed the Bible through a mostly literal lens, and I believe you
are basing your fears of God’s wrath on the Genesis story of Sodom and Gomorrah,
ancient cities which God destroyed by fire and brimstone, according to Genesis.
You believe they were destroyed because they allowed homosexuality, among other
things. Most modern biblical scholars and Christians who apply their critical
thinking skills when they read the Bible agree that Sodom and Gomorrah were
destroyed primarily for two reasons: first, they worshipped false gods instead
of the one true God and therefore participated in all sorts of harmful and
godless acts; and second, they were so inhospitable to the strangers in their
midst that they performed acts of gang violence against them. However, you
never, ever mention the Old Testament story of the town of Gibeah (Judges 19).
A very similar situation occurred there as in Sodom, but God did not destroy Gibeah,
even though an innocent woman was gang raped to death by the very same men who
earlier had demanded her two male travelling companions. Historians of the
ancient Middle East will tell you that gang rape of both men and women was a
display of domination and superiority that occurred commonly among those
cultures. That practice has absolutely nothing in common with our modern-day
concept of loving and committed same-gender relationships.
Can we
agree, then, that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed not because their citizens
were gay (as we understand gay to be in the twenty-first century), but because
they worshipped idols and were inhospitably cruel to foreigners? Can we still
expect God’s wrath to rain down on America? Perhaps. Do we not worship idols in
this country, especially those of the Four F’s: firearms, flags, fetuses, and
finances? How many Christians bow down to the almighty gun and stand in the way
of legislation that would make our people safer by making it harder for violent
and unstable individuals to acquire high-power firearms that belong only in the
hands of our public safety officers and military personnel? How many Christians
pledge allegiance to the flag of a country that has contributed to the genocide
of its indigenous people and murdered thousands of innocent civilians in
certain wars that were unjust and unprovoked, and still to this day oppresses
the poor by denying them access to affordable healthcare, quality education, and
decent housing? How many Christians revere the unborn child while neglecting
the welfare of children already with us, and denying women safety, good health,
and self-determination? How many Christians place their faith in the
corporations that drive their financial investments, greedy entities that take
unfair advantage of their workers, damage the environment, and manipulate our
government to their own self-seeking ends? Are these all not forms of idolatry?
And do we not express meanness to the strangers among us by building walls and fences
to keep them out, by taunting them in their attempts to learn a complicated
language that even most native speakers struggle to master, and by economically
sequestering them in areas of our communities characterized by squalor and
crime? Is this all not inhospitality?
You right-wing
fundamentalist conservatives also cite God’s law when you express opposition to
the legal, civil affirmation of a same-gender marriage. I will not use the
separation of church and state argument here, as you seem to believe America is
a Christian nation (it was, in fact, founded by capitalists, not Christians,
and many of the founding fathers would not have passed your litmus test for
Christianity; indeed, if the Puritans were among us today, most Christians
would label them a cult for their beliefs). Instead, let’s consider your
meaning of God’s law. Are you referring to the Old Testament laws? If so, then
please cease your hypocrisy at once. Paul said in his letter to the Galatian
Christians that if they keep one law, they are obligated to keep all of them
(Galatians 5:3). Assuming Paul’s words apply to us in the twenty-first century,
as well, we must immediately discard our blended-fiber clothing, refrain from
eating pork and shrimp, and execute our children if they disrespect us. Oh, and
if our daughters are raped, we are to sell them to their rapists as long as
those men offer a fair price—unless the daughter was not a virgin at the time
of her rape, in which case we are to execute her. Men, if you are
uncircumcised, you must cut off your foreskin immediately, otherwise you are
breaking the law and displeasing God. We cannot cherry-pick the Old Testament
laws to follow and to disregard. If you insist on using God’s laws in your
civil arguments, then perhaps you need to follow Paul’s advice in Galatians
5:12. You’ll need a sharp knife, some gauze, and plenty of pain killers.
From a New
Testament perspective, then, you often use other of Paul’s writings (it is
interesting to note that Jesus, the one all we Christians revere as Lord and
Savior and model of the Way we are to live, never said a word about same-sex
relationships, according to the scriptures we have canonized as the New
Testament). The most commonly used one is Romans 1:26-27, in which Paul
describes an idolatrous people engaging in homosexual practices. Most scholars
agree that the practices were connected in some way to the idol worship,
perhaps as ritualistic sex. No one knows for sure, but one thing is certain:
the practice is in the context of a people turning away from God and
participating in the worship of false gods’ idols.
In my own research I have found
credible thoughts and opinions on all of those scriptures that represent both
sides of the argument. So who’s right? Everybody? Nobody? Perhaps we are all
both right and wrong? The only specific instances of homosexual activity
described in the Bible are the men of Sodom and Gibeah attempting to gang-rape
foreign men, and the men and women of Rome participating in sexual activities
related to idol worship. If God is so vehemently opposed to the notion of two
men or two women being married, then why is there no specific mention of
same-gender marriage in the Bible? Of course the Bible describes the various
man-woman arrangements prevalent in the ancient world: one husband, one wife;
one husband, one wife, and one or more concubines; one husband, multiple wives;
one husband, his deceased brother’s wife; one man, his female slaves; one
husband, his wife’s female slave. We really don’t have many clear examples in the
Bible of one man marrying one woman for life for no other reason than for love.
Even Abraham, whom Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike revere as the father of
our respective faiths, was married to his half-sister (Genesis 20:12). And
after Sodom was destroyed, Lot’s daughters got their father drunk and had sex
with him so they could get pregnant (Genesis 19:30-38).
So apparently God is tolerant of
polygamy in various forms and incestuous arrangements, even drug rape, but gets
really angry when two people of the same gender fall in love and commit their
lives to each other, promising to be faithful to each other, in sickness and in
health, till death do they part, and simply desire our secular society to treat
their marriages equally in the context of civil law. God truly hates that? Then
why don’t we advocate for polygamous and incestuous marriage in the US since
the Bible seems to condone those sorts of arrangements? And if you
counter-argue that the one man/one woman familial arrangement is what’s best
for children, then don’t allow infertile couples to marry, since children aren’t
a natural possibility for them. Historical and contemporary evidence shows that
children raised by same-gender parents are just as well-adjusted as those
raised by opposite-gender parents, in the same way that children raised by
single parents can turn out just as healthy and well-adjusted as those raised
by a mom and a dad.
Admittedly, nowhere in the Bible
are same-gender relationships between two adults described explicitly. However,
there are some relationships that may—perhaps, maybe, possibly—imply something
more than just deep friendship between two people of the same gender. The most
famous is the love shared between King David of Israel and his friend Jonathon,
King Saul’s son. I won’t go into esoteric linguistic details here, but suffice
it to say that some of the Hebrew language used to describe some of their
interactions implies that something more than a handshake and a hug went on
between them. Another is the strong bond between Ruth and her deceased
husband’s mother, Naomi. I’m not sure if I buy that one or not, but what’s
known is that Ruth manipulated a kinsman into getting her pregnant, then she
gave her baby to Naomi to raise. Sounds like reproduction by surrogacy to me,
which is common among same-gender couples for obvious reasons. And there are more:
Elijah prayed for a companion, and he got a man named Elisha. Daniel was
selected to be part of the court of King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, and the
king’s eunuch chamberlain, according to the first chapter of the book of
Daniel, showed mercy and physical love toward Daniel (according to the original
Hebrew used). And Jesus healed the “beloved servant” of a Roman centurion, men
who commonly took their same-sex partners into Roman-occupied territories while
on assignment.
Neither I nor any of the gay men or
lesbians I know are gang rapists or pagan idol worshipers who participate in
ritualistic sex. And frankly, I’m very tired of being spiritually bullied by fellow
Christians who continually bear false witness against me and my kind (and often
certain women and anybody else who doesn’t think, believe, look, or act like
they do) by making us all out to be things we most certainly are not. How about
we all act obediently to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and heed His words to
not judge each other, but instead to love each other as God first loved us?
Let’s stop picking at the specks in each other’s eyes and start working at
getting the planks out of our own eyes. Only then will we be able to see each
other clearly and recognize that Christ is in all of us. Then we might find it
easier to love each other, and once that happens, we can celebrate each other’s
joys and carry each other’s burdens more sincerely and obediently. We will
sincerely want what is best not only for ourselves, but for others. After all, wasn’t
it love that transformed many Christians’ viewpoint on slavery, which the Bible
does not condemn? Didn’t love for women bring about their right to vote and
receive equal treatment under the law, even though the Bible does not specifically
address women’s civil rights? Isn’t love what motivated blacks, whites, and
others to unite in the 1960’s and 1970’s to advance the cause of civil rights
for all people in this country, even though the political systems in the Bible
did not practice equality for all?
We all need to read and reread 1
Corinthians 13 to remember what love is all about, and we need to repent of our
unloving ways and put love into practice. I can tell you this from my own
experience: There are many gay and lesbian people who feel no love whatsoever
from a large segment of Christian society, the part of America that is supposed
to have the deepest understanding of love. Many Christians tout, “Love the
sinner, hate the sin” while spouting hateful, hurtful remarks and advocating
legislation that would deny gays and lesbians their rights to life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness. Here’s a surprise for some of my fellow
Christians: We gay and lesbian Christians also espouse the “love the sinner,
hate the sin” theology—we love you as our brothers and sisters in Christ, but
we hate the sins of fear, bigotry, intolerance, and exclusion that you show us
and many others who suffer from your unloving attitudes.
Jesus said the law is summed up in
two commands: love God with your whole being, and love your neighbor as
yourself. It’s time for all of us, but especially you, dear right-wing fundamentalist
conservative Christian brothers and sisters, to hand our fears over to God and
start living in love toward each other. It’s time for all of us to grow up
spiritually and stop suckling at the teats of Biblical literalism and
patriarchal political systems. Growing up can be difficult, uncomfortable, and
even painful, but without growth, there is no development; and without
development, there is no transforming of our hearts to be more like Christ.
