Why I'm probably going to hell (according to evangelicals)

Recently a woman I don't even know, who had never, ever communicated with me before, sent me a private message on social media explaining that I couldn't be gay and Christian and that if I didn't repent, I would burn in hell for all eternity. While I don't know this woman personally, she is the relative of a relative (one whom I barely know). But from what I do know about that family, I can assume with some confidence that they are conservative, evangelical Christians.

I never really considered myself an evangelical Christian, even though I have been involved with evangelical churches in the past. But because of those affiliations, I can understand where that line of thinking comes from. Evangelicals are notorious for being mean-spirited toward LGBTQ people (among others). So as I grew in my self-awareness, I grew in my understanding of God and Christ and grew further away from evangelical circles. Praise God for that!

Despite my growth over the years, her comments still bothered me. Then I started thinking about all the other reasons an evangelical would say I am bound for hell, and I realized I'm doomed by their standards on many points. So here's a list of other evangelical reasons I'm probably going to hell:

• I sometimes use she/her/they/them pronouns for God.
• I sometimes use mild profanity and even drop an F-bomb now and then (but I never use Jesus or Christ as swear words).
• I believe women and girls have the right to make their own reproductive choices.
• I believe loving guns is incompatible with the teachings of Jesus. 
• I believe there will be people of other religions, or no religion at all, in God’s close company in the hereafter. 
• I believe there will be Christians who will NOT be in God’s close company in the hereafter. 
• I believe sex outside of marriage is acceptable in some situations. 
• I believe if alcohol and tobacco are legal, then why not marijuana?
• I believe the love of money (and the power money brings) really is the root of all evil. 
• I believe in justice for the poor and the oppressed, and my voting habits reflect this belief. 
• I believe racism is a sin. 
• I believe for some people, their biological sex and their gender identity don’t align in a binary way. 
• I believe heaven and hell are states of being rather than literal, physical places. 
• I believe that the God who is Love will never, ever give up on a soul and will wait an eternity for that soul to find their way to God. 
• I believe that Christ is the Word of God, and not the Bible. 
• I believe the Bible is full of symbolism and figurative language—that’s what makes it timeless and universally relevant—and to take its words literally and out of context is not only stupid and lazy, it is dangerous. 
• I believe in the complete separation of church and state. 
• I believe school libraries should be filled with all kinds of age-appropriate books, and children should be free to read what they want with a librarian’s guidance. 
• I believe parents should mind their own damn business when it comes to public education unless they have advanced degrees in education. 
• I believe no one in this country—or in the world, really—should be unhoused, hungry, or unable to access quality healthcare. 
• I believe national borders may be against God’s will for humanity. 
• I believe science and critical thinking are gifts from God and are absolutely compatible with faith. 
• I believe the truth of God can be found in unexpected places: a Buddhist temple, a Sufi poem, a Wiccan ritual, a Jewish prayer—any place and any time the Light of Love is invited and embraced.

Now, I know that not every evangelical Christian relies on guilt, fear, and intimidation to spread the gospel (or their particular brand of the gospel, which in my opinion is anything but good news). And I may be picking at a speck while ignoring a plank. But God is Mystery, and God is Love. To reduce the gospel to a set of literal do's and don'ts that no one can fully live up to negates the very work of Jesus on the cross. When He said, "It is finished," I believe he meant all those do's and don'ts. And the rest of the Christian scriptures are pretty clear on that. The gospel is now available to all, no matter who you are, how you identify, or what you've done in the past. What matters is that you love God as completely as you can, and you love your neighbor as yourself. Those who do are close to the heart of God, a beautiful place of Light and Love. Those who don't are farther from the heart of God, a cold, lonely, dark place.

Let me ask you, evangelical: Are you living in the Light of that Love? Or are you so riddled with guilt and shame or the desperate need to control others that you deflect your feelings onto the scapegoat du jour, which today is mainly LGBTQ people, just so you can feel more righteous about yourself? Why do you feel that God wants you to possess instruments of death? Why do you think God loves America more than any other country? Why do you seem to hold the U.S. Constitution in higher regard than the words of Jesus? Why do you love unborn fetuses more than the women who bear them? Why do you hoard wealth for yourselves while your neighbor goes homeless, hungry, and ill? Why do you deny facts revealed by the scientific process? Why do you seek to control others and take away their freedom (in Christ!) to be themselves and to think for themselves and to work out their own salvation in their own way?

None of us are perfect, but it is in our imperfections that we more fully experience God's grace. As a gay man, I have an understanding of that grace that I wouldn't fully understand if I were straight, because then I would just be another straight, white, cis-gendered man, meaning I would be among the most powerful in this society. And Jesus is quite clear that God chooses the weak and vulnerable to embody God's grace and accomplish God's purposes. Perhaps I am gay because God needs LGBTQ people to teach others that all are welcome at God's table, just as they are. Perhaps I enjoy a good marriage to another man as an example of how relationships for LGBTQ people aren't that different from those of straight people. I don't know. My story isn't finished yet. But I won't let your judgment and condemnation stop my story from unfolding. God is doing a good work in me. Will you open your hearts and minds to God's expansive, inclusive love so God can do good works in you, too?