A Theology of Love

Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

1 John 4:7 NRSV

          I grew up in a church that gave me a good foundation for my faith. Elder saints, including my parents, taught me the stories and verses from the Bible that helped me learn the history of the Jewish people and introduced me to the Jewish man upon whom my faith tradition is based. And they modeled the love and compassion that Jesus expressed to others. These were simple country folk, for the most part, without a sophisticated world view and a complicated theology. The church tended to have a fairly literal interpretation of the scriptures and a conservative approach to living out their faith. There were no female pastors or deacons; drinking alcohol, dancing, and gambling were strictly forbidden; and for the longest time, women were discouraged from wearing pants to church, if at all. And we never, ever openly discussed s-e-x. The emphasis seemed to be on having the right belief system, or orthodoxy. We believed that right actions would naturally result from espousing the “right” doctrine.

          The problem with such an approach to the Christian faith is that there are so many sets of “right” beliefs and doctrines within the Christian community. There are schisms created between Catholics, Protestants, and Orthodox believers. There are divisions based on one’s eschatology, or one’s beliefs about the final events of human history. The issue of slavery divided the Christian church for hundreds of years. Interracial marriage created divisions in the mid-twentieth century. And today, churches are divided over the full inclusion of GLBT individuals and their right to marry the person of their choice, as well as the issue of a woman’s right to control her own body.

          If the twenty-first century church is to not just survive, but to thrive, we must overcome this fixation on orthodoxy and instead focus on orthopraxy, the right way of doing. When Jesus dwelt among us, he didn’t preach to others about right beliefs. Instead, he focused both his messages and his practices on doing right—right by others, right by self, and most importantly, right by God. Jesus didn’t try to convert Gentiles to Judaism, or one sect of Jews to another sect. He just said, “Follow me.” In other words, Do as I do. And what did Jesus do but feed the hungry, heal the sick, and embrace the outcast in peace and love. The writer of 1 John hit the nail on the head with one sentence: Love is from God, so we should love one another, and that’s how we’ll know who is “right” with God.

          But we all know how very, very difficult it is to love one another. Let’s face it: there are some very unlovable people out there. I myself have a very hard time loving mean people. It doesn’t matter who they are socio-economically; a mean rich person, a mean homeless person, a mean Democrat or a mean Republican, a mean man or a mean woman or a mean child, a mean white person or a mean person of color, a mean liberal or a mean conservative. I just have a hard time loving people who are mean toward others, whether in action or attitude. The flip side of this quandary is that I then have some very mean thoughts toward those mean people. And mean thoughts often result in mean actions. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, indeed (see John 8:7).

          My Christianity has changed considerably since my childhood church days. I don’t see God as an old white man anymore, but rather as a genderless spirit of pure light and love who inhabits all of his/her creation. I see Jesus as a Palestinian Jew and not a fair-haired, fair-skinned European man. I recognize that the Old Testament stories are based on hundreds of generations of oral history that was influenced by a number of Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cultures and languages, and not eyewitness accounts recorded by ancient journalists. I acknowledge the fact that the New Testament scriptures were selected from a great collection of letters and accounts by men in power, and that the voices of women and minorities were greatly overlooked. I realize now that the interpretations of these scriptures must take into account their linguistic, cultural, and historical contexts in order to fully understand and bring them to life for our present day realities. And I fully believe that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not a set of four books in the New Testament, but the Good News that Jesus proclaimed: that God loves us enough to give up everything for us, to overlook our shortcomings and imperfections and cover us with incomprehensible grace, and inspire us to love each other as God loves us, thereby resulting in “right” actions toward each other.

          In the Old Testament, God expressed God’s self to the world through God’s chosen people, the Jews. In the New Testament, God expressed God’s self to the world through God’s only son, Jesus. And now, God expresses God’s self in the world through the Christ-Spirit, the spirit of love and mercy and compassion and forgiveness and joy that permeates the world, every language, culture, place, and religion. The writer of 1 John didn’t say, “If you espouse this set of beliefs and hold these tenets of the doctrine dear, then you are born of God and you know God.” He (or she, who knows for sure?) said, “…everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.”      

          The Apostle Paul is credited with writing that we are saved by grace, and not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Yet, also allegedly according to Paul, we will be judged by what we have done (2 Corinthians 5:10). The two statements seem contradictory, don’t they? Here’s my interpretation: grace is a gift, freely available to all who will open their minds and hearts to it. It is not a reward that can be earned (as many Christians seem to preach). But I see “Judgment Day” as the day we enter into the eternal presence of God, with those who have done good in their lives—loving others as God loves us—getting to sit a little closer to God at the metaphorical table, no matter who they are—Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, agnostic, rich, poor, gay, straight, whoever—than those who were more focused on having the right belief systems and doctrines, and who were obsessed with being the “right” person before God based on their doctrinal affiliations. Obsessing about the right belief system leads to pride, which is a sin, which separates us from God. But those who possess the spirit of Christ—whether they are aware of it as such or not—will display the Spirit’s fruits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). There is no law against such things, so these must be what God is looking for in one who is born of God and knows God, right?

          The late writer and poet Maya Angelou, who passed away just this last week, wrote, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” All people want to feel loved; when we feel judged, we don’t feel loved. That’s not to say we should refrain from discerning and calling out beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are harmful towards others. Such discernment is what spurs Christians toward activism leading to social justice for the poor and the oppressed. But when Christians judge others through the lens of their own rigidly defined set of beliefs and doctrines to the point where the result is oppression and harm to the one being judged, it becomes clear that the motivation is not love at all, but rather fear—which is the opposite of love (see 1 John 4:18). Judgment and fear are most certainly not fruits of the spirit of Christ.

          Right actions don’t always result from right beliefs; just look at the abominable way some Christians treat women, the poor, and GLBT individuals. But might it be possible that right beliefs always result from right actions? That loving others unconditionally and unselfishly naturally results in bringing us closer to the heart of God? That actively pursuing the fruits of the spirit of Christ will bring us into fellowship with God and God’s people? And when we arrive at that point, might we then realize that God’s people—those who are born of God and know God—represent a much broader community of humanity than we originally believed? Those who know God are better able to see others as God sees them. This renewed perception makes loving others, as well as ourselves, a little bit easier.

          I suppose this theology of love can be summed up pretty simply: Do your best to love God, love yourself, love others, and love creation unconditionally. By doing so, you’ll be drawn closer to the mind and heart of God.

Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.

1 John 4:8 NRSV